Buy Me A Ring
We've been together 9 years... We're currently 25 & 26 with two young children. I bring it up every now and again and he always says "one day"... Money has been an issue for us but I'm not after a ring worth thousands, he knows this. Ever since we had our first son (now 5) it has become more important to me, for the commitment and to share a last name with my children. Lately it seems all of our friends and family are getting engaged, and something in me breaks every single time I hear about it, especially since these couples haven't been together HALF as long as my partner and I. It's depressing me, it's making me question if im good enough, what have I done wrong to not deserve a ring, is he too comfortable, doesn't he care enough?. I don't feel worthy of a ring, and it's getting to the point even if he did ask, I don't think I want it, because I feel it's out of pity or because we have kids. I'm depressed, and feel worthless.. And yes I've spoken to him about the way I feel.. He shrugs it off. Don't know what to do :(
buy me a ring
I think it's totally normal to want a ring and commitment of marriage. I think some guys get lazy, especially after having kids. They might not see the need for marriage since it's as if you're married already. I would be careful about pressuring him though cause you don't want someone to marry you cause you told them to.
Yeh it generally always comes back to money. Not sure if he's just using that as an excuse, because he knows I don't want an expensive ring. But then again, he spends up to $100 a week on cigarettes, if he really wanted to, he could cut down and save $$. I hate the smoking but I don't pressure him about it.
I get it though. I've been with my SO going on 7 yrs. After a short separation he actually wanted to get the ring which I happily accepted but it doesn't change much of anything. My commitment to him and our family isn't symbolized by this ring, it's by my actions everyday. I think when we cohabit and have children before the ring and wedding, men get comfortable and figure all that isn't needed anymore.
So he has a ring already that he showed you? What's the holdup? I don't think sitting him down and talking it out is nagging. I think that you need to decide if this is worth ending things over and tell him. Maybe choose a deadline that you're comfortable with and leave the rest to him. I know ultimatums are generally bad, but this is your life too and you deserve happiness. Gl
Sorry guys I should have clarified.. He showed me the picture of the ring from when he was at the jewellers, he showed me a message he'd sent his mate and he had the card with the amount owing. I literally have not seen or heard anything in 5 years about it, it's really confused me.
Just this once I'd love to stick to the tradition of man giving the woman the ring, it would mean the absolute world to me. It's trivial, but it's how I've seen it growing up, it's one little "luxury" I would love to receive.
You said you had to give up your home and independence. He may not be comfortable to do anything right now until you've settle back. I know he can still ask and give a not so expensive ring but some guys rather not.
I don't think a ring will fill the void my boyfriend left, but it will represent to me what I decided when I added it to my cart: I will no longer abandon myself to a relationship or expect a romantic partner to give me a happiness that only I can truly give myself.
MUSE (Musicians United for Safe Energy) staged a series of concerts in September of 1979 to bring national attention to the dangers of nuclear power. Among the artists participating in the all-star shows were Bruce Springsteen, Jackson Brown, Bonnie Raitt, John Hall, The Doobie Brothers and Crosby, Stills & Nash.
It's the fifth day of Christmas, the day "my true love sent to me five gold rings," according to the old Christmas carol. So, my true love, send me rings in the lyrics to your song requests. We'll see which ones fit after 9 a.m.
It was a Christmas during my adolescence that I learned the smallest boxes often contained the best gifts. That morning I tore the wrapping paper off a palm-sized box to reveal the silver logo of James Avery, the local jewelry store. Nestled in a soft gray pouch inside was a beautiful silver charm in the shape of my dog. I would wear that charm nearly every day for the next year.
Two years into my marriage, I became severely ill and was bedridden for many months. Even as my fingers swelled from my medication, I waited as long as I could before removing my wedding ring. I could barely sit up and could no longer dress, but I often reached to my neck to touch the first necklace my husband had ever bought me.
My illness seemed to have flipped a switch in his mind, triggering erratic moods and reckless decision-making. When he screamed at me or lied about his whereabouts, I questioned how sincere all those necklaces and rings really were. I was too sick to work more than a few hours a week and too weak to pack my possessions. I endured his moods and accusations for months until I was finally strong enough to leave.
In the years after my divorce, I scrolled past jewelry ads online wistfully but without actually considering buying anything. I squirreled away most of the money I earned in case my body ever failed me again. Even after my bank account recovered, it didn't occur to me that a woman could buy her own jewelry.
I wasn't prepared for the swell of emotion when I left with it in a shopping bag. I hadn't realized I could treat myself instead of waiting for a man who may or may not be all I needed him to be. I understood that day that a gift to myself could be an even stronger and more enduring symbol of love than a gift from family.
I picked it out for FH because at the time he was unemployed and so I picked a VERY inexpensive, small ring because I didn't want to throw anything expensive his way. I know size shouldn't matter, but the message behind the ring should, but I'm just.. yeah. It looks like a promise ring. The stones are almost as small as the ones in the purity ring my parents gave me. The gold has already gotten scuffed and scratched and it is very light.. I don't feel like I have an engagement ring.
Thats a tough situation but like you said, the size should not matter. I say wait it out, its not worth the argument before the wedding. Ask for a nice band and remember you can always add stones to your ring and you could do that for your one year. but for now in my opinion, its not worth the argument with FH. such small issues become bigger. maybe suggest that you would love to add stones later on.
I disagree. I think if you have to wear a ring for the rest of your life you should love it and not just settle for it especially if it's your wedding band. I started out with a very inexpensive temporary e-ring and we both understood that this was a temporary ring. We traded up when we could afford it and then traded up again. There's nothing wrong with that at all. I wouldn't hurt his feelings but he should want to buy you a beautiful ring that you love. Is it that he's just being cheap or is he sentimental? If it's that he is sentimental than you can always put your stones in another setting. That's what I did. Work on trading up until you have one you love. Lets us see it, I'd love to. I bet it's very nice just because it's small doesn't mean it's not beautiful My ring is only .80 not even a carat and I love it it all depends on what you like so if it's just that it's small don't let that make you not love it.
What karat is the gold? My ring is white gold, it's natural for gold to scratch. I just had mine rhodium plated after a year of abuse and it looks gorgeous and brand new again. Maybe take it to the jeweler and see if they can professionally clean it/buff it out for you? Not that it would make you love it but it might help.
I would say hold tight for a while. I wouldn't want to wear something every day that I truly disliked, but it might just not be the right time. Maybe you guys can discuss upgrading your rings on your first anniversary or something. You can always reuse the stones like Jennifer said - maybe even in a setting for a new e-ring, so it's all one piece.
My mom and Grandmothers each have multiple wedding rings, bands. Mom has 2 wedding sets. One is her original e ring and band marques . The other is a newer heart shaped ring and plain band. She also has a plain larger band from when she was pregnant. She then has another band with stones in it, plus a fake ring she wares to work. Grandma has 2 bands. Do what makes you happy. My ring is different than what i would have chosen for myself tho FH did the best he could to get something I would like. I would not take it off because i am so emotionally attached to it even though there are other rings that I like better. I think that for him it probably hurts when you say you would like a different ring because he couldn't afford a different one, which would make him feel like he failed you in some way...failing to provided...hurting his man pride. Or maybe he is emotionally attached to it and the memories it holds for the two of you. I would try to talk to him about it again.
Also you will be wearing it for a long time so do what makes you happy. Also in some traditions the engagement ring was worn on the first finger and the wedding band was worn on the ring finger. So there is no reason that you couldn't have you e-ring sized and wear both the old and the new. Just an idea.
Well I personally think your FH should completely understand your reasons for wanting a more "engagement like" ring... now that he's actually working. My husband would buy me a thousand rings if I asked him to. He knows it has absolutely NOTHING to do with how I feel about HIM. I agree that if you intend to wear it 'forever' it should be one you love, not one you just settled on to help out your FH while he was unemployed. I suppose if he's having an issue with you wanting to upgrade though it might be a good idea to wait a while. 041b061a72